Did you ever ask yourself what truly supports you to grow?
It’s a question I sit with quite a bit. Does writing and posting seemingly smart articles on LinkedIn support my growth? Well, maybe, but most likely not in and of itself, to be honest. It might just be “trying to be good” on another level.
What resonates more is this: when I write or explore, can I look at myself with curiosity and compassion, and can I be present with whatever comes up?
For me, looking at oneself with curiosity and compassion means approaching my inner world with an open, less judgmental mindset. Curiosity invites me to explore not just my thoughts but also my emotions and behaviors, as if I’m discovering something new. Instead of doing what I often did as a consultant—jumping to conclusions or making harsh judgments and often avoiding my inner world—I now aim to be genuinely interested in understanding myself: what drives me, what holds me back, how I feel, and why I behave the way I do.
To do this, I need to be slow and create space for exploration.
Compassion adds a layer of warmth to this process. It means I’m okay with being more human and accepting that I’m a “work in progress” (one of my favorite slide stickers for many years).
When I face mistakes or vulnerabilities—of which I have many each day—I try to be less harsh with myself, allowing space to feel sadness or shame at times. This helps me avoid bypassing my feelings with phrases like: “It wasn’t me, it was ‘the others,’” or, “Forget it, let’s change the topic,” or even with my kids, “Well, this is just how it’s done…” And more often, I can laugh at myself for using these bypasses—my kids even know and catch me now.
This approach feels nurturing, more self-accepting, and increases my resilience. I believe it allows for a deeper connection to my inner self.
And believe me, often I fail and it does not work … and then I’ll try again.
The most interesting thing I’ve noticed is that as I progress step-by-step, the more I feel connected to myself, the more I can relate to others, connect with them, and sense what’s going on for them.
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